Something Has Changed Within Me
by Student of Dreams
Summary: Chilton is bedridden and alone while he heals from his evisceration. Freddie, surprised at how much she cares, decides that that this just won't do. Freddy/Chilton. (Written for HannibalExchange)


**A/N:** This was written for the Hannibal Exchange over on Dreamwidth. They person I wrote for wanted "Chilton goes after Freddie after his 'operation' for comfort" & "Chilton used to sing and Freddie finds it endearing". I had never written Freddie before, so this was interesting and I'm surprised at how fond I am of this pairing now :)  
Please Enjoy

**Something Has Changed Within Me**

Freddy knew that, against doctor's orders, Frederick would be home alone. His parents were dead and although he had an older brother, he lived in Miami and the two hadn't spoken in a very long time.

Being the hospital administrator hadn't earned him many friends, though he seemed to care very little.

It had been a year before Gideon's intervention when Freddy and Frederick met, brought together when she had interviewed him about one of his patients. Somehow it ended up with the two of them meeting frequently for coffee whenever they could co-ordinate the time.

Freddy didn't know whether Frederick was interested in her the way she wanted. He hadn't made a move, but she felt confident enough to assume he was

He was curiously respectful of her, something which no man had ever been. Most thought she would be an easy sell, and none wanted to get to know her better. Indeed, they probably didn't think there was much more beyond her confidence, charisma and body.

Frederick was different.

Honestly, if she hadn't done some personal investigating into his ex-wife she might have thought he was gay.

Freddie settled for a moment on the doorstep of his apartment. She'd had another tenant open the building's door for her so that Fredrick didn't have to move on her account, and settled the box down so that she could pick the lock

She chuckled a little at how easy it was. Maybe she would buy him a decent security system for his birthday.

After everything that had happened he would probably appreciate the peace of mind.

Shouldering her way into the apartment, she tried to move quietly. The heating was on, but the window was open across the living room. Probably to allow Fredrick's cat in and out of the building without having to attend to it personally.

She didn't like pets, they were never really her thing, but for some inexplicable reason Fredrick cared for the fuzz-ball and she'd brought food for it in case he hadn't been able to.

Freddie lowered the box onto the coffee table and went over to close the window. She was there now, there was no reason for it to be open.

"Frederick." She called out while she stripped off her jacket and gloves. "I hope you're not asleep. I'd hate for my trip to be wasted."

"In the bedroom."

"Perfect," she purred loud enough for him to hear as she opened the door.

Then her breath caught.

He looked so pale against the dark sheets. The small table beside his bed was filled with pill bottles and bottled water and there was a wheelchair not too far by.

However, as she looked over him, the objects around weren't all that disturbing when compared to his eyes. They were sunken,framed as if he had two black eyes, and they were dulled and glassy, lacking their usual sharp wit.

"Frederick."

He smiled weakly at her. "It's not as bad as it looks."

"I don't see how it could be worse. Unless you were dead, of course."

Freddie felt her face drop at her statement. It had meant to be flippant, something she usually did quite well, but it had sent something painful through her chest. She turned from him for a moment, pretending to look around the room.

She knew he would pick on up on her reaction, but she also knew he wouldn't comment if she didn't want him to.

"I'm surprised you're not picketing to get access to Will Graham; Trying to scale the hospital walls to get an interview."

"That's plan B." She turned back at the change of subject and slowly approached the bed to sit near Fredericks feet, "Will Graham is going to be locked up for a long while. He can wait. I thought this was more important."

"I'm flattered."

She smirked. "I couldn't leave you here all alone."

"There are nurses. One comes for three hours in the morning, the other for two at night."

"I brought a nurses outfit with me if you'd prefer."

Frederick's eyes glinted with their usual light as he took in the statement and Freddie relaxed a little further onto the bed. It was the first sign since she'd got there that he might be okay, and that he was still alive in that body, even after all he'd gone through.

"Now, how could I turn down an offer like that?"

Freddie smiled brightly and slithered off the bed. It was clear that he'd took the statement as it was meant to be; an offer to move in for a while and help.

"I was hoping you'd say that."

She moved quickly on her stilettoed boots back into the lounge to retrieve the box she had brought. Although she often didn't care too much about other people, as not many cared fondly for her, she was looking forward to looking after Frederick.

It was a relatively new compulsion, and she was nervous that maybe she didn't know how, which was also strange because she was rarely nervous.

Yet, Freddie was determined to not let her apprehension, or eagerness, show.

She brought the box into the bedroom and settled it on the chest at the end of the bed. She pulled out some chocolate, movies, books and a bottle of wine, all of which she placed next to the box.

"Hush," she gently scolded when he went to protest. "The wine's for me." She pulled out a CD, "This is for you."

She smirked at him as she walked past and towards his large bookcase, which took up the entire wall. In the centre was a small sound system, which she utilized.

Frederick laughed when he heard her choice of music.

"The _Wicked_ soundtrack?"

"Familiar, Frederick?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"Oh _please_. I'm a journalist; did you really think I wouldn't find out?" She made her way over to the bed and dug into the box again. "I'm not the best cook, but I bought some packets I can mix together. Just like mother used to make. What do you have in your kitchen?"

"That can wait. I'm not overly hungry."

Freddie looked up to see the bedridden man smiling at her, incredibly amused.

"Some of the medication they've got me on makes me feel nauseated. I don't really feel like eating."

"Well, I brought a tea for that too. It should be in the bottom of th-"

"Fredricka, please. You just got here and I've... missed you." He looked down at his blanket for a moment, as if he was embarrassed to admit it.

She smiled and towed off her heals, "May I?"

"Of course."

She moved around the bed and settled herself next to him. Her legs were stretched out beside Frederick but she was upright against his leather headboard. He was propped up on a collection of pillows, but she remained above him in a much more angular position.

"You do realize I can't shift myself up lest I put too much pressure on my abdomen."

Freddie glanced down at him for a moment, before she readjusted herself down into an undignified feeling slouched position.

"Is that better?"

She turned to look at him and tried not to startle when she saw his dark knowledgeable eyes so close to hers.

"Much."

She quirked an eyebrow and gently reached over to place a hand on his chest. He smiled and placed a hand on top of hers.

They hadn't really touched before, and Freddie was surprised that he didn't seem surprised or adverse to it. She had expected him to be somewhat jumpy about physical contact, all things considered.

Maybe it was the drugs.

"I had some time to think in the hospital." He started. "No one came to visit me, and I know you were busy, otherwise you would have" Frederick stalled her protest, "but it made me regret certain things."

"Such as?"

"Such as never making a move on you."

He smirked widely, his eyes glinting mischievously.

"You're fevered Frederick." She half joked, "Is this really the time to be declaring your love?"

"Hardly, so it's a good thing that's not quite what I'm doing." His expression faded into something more sincere, "I was merely stating that perhaps I should have let my affections be a little more known to you, before I was potentially unable to."

He paled slightly and looked away from her. She could tell that the thought of dying alone, of having nothing to show for his life, was haunting him. He would have liked to be dismissive of the anxiety, she knew, but it was a hard thing to ignore.

When Freddie had been watching Gideon she had thought something similar; that she'd never written anything that would make her memorable once she was gone, no tell-all book or ground breaking article.

Maybe that was why they both wanted Will Graham.

Although she was no stranger to men, she had never pictured any of them mourning her death. She had always put her career first and never considered that she could leave a legacy behind with another human being and not just in written piece.

She had learnt from Frederick's ex-wife that he had been the same, thus their divorce, yet it seemed that his near death experience had shaken something loose.

Freddie hadn't yet had the same revelation.

There was no doubt that she liked that they were taking things slow and becoming friends first, and she was, of course, attracted to him. However, the idea that if they ever got physical there would be something deeper attached to it scared her even more than her own feelings.

The man beside her shifted, clearly uncomfortable that he had allowed himself to confess what he'd been thinking, and that the silence after had stretched perhaps a little too long for his liking.

Freddie removed her hand from Frederick's chest and used it to move his face towards her. She placed a sweet kiss on his lips before pulling away and slipping from the sheets.

"I'll go get that tea along with anything else you need."

"Thank you."

She gestured to the sound system, "And when you've healed a little more, you _have_ to sing this song for me."

Frederick smirked "As long as you return the favour."

Freddie scoffed and turned to leave for the kitchen, tea and wine in hand.

Even though she wasn't sure whether she could handle the future of their relationship as Frederick wanted it, she was more than happy to try and explore whether they could bring their friendship into a relationship.

Until he was feeling better anything physical was off the table, and Freddie was surprised to find herself deciding to not have sex with him if she couldn't give him the emotional connection he desired.

She respected him too much to string him along or use him for pure physical satisfaction.

From the looks of Frederick lying pale and broken in his bed, they would not be crossing that bridge soon, even under her care. It gave her the time she needed to sort herself out; to try and be who he needed, and she wanted.

If she could, then it would be worth it.

She was sure of that, if nothing else.


End file.
